Below is an exchange I posted to http://www.ironchariots.org. I’m interested if anyone here has an opinion or an idea regarding this incident.
I would like to relay an event that happened to me some years ago. As outrageous as this may sound, I swear that this happened as I describe it.
Back in the mid 1990s, I was married to a girl that I despised. She was not what I wanted in a wife, but she was the mother of my only child. Yes, we got married because she was pregnant, but that’s another discussion.
At the time, we were sharing a house with her parents and my son was about 5 years old. My wife & I got into yet another stupid argument and of course, her parents took her side of the argument, simply because they were family. I was out numbered and furiously mad so I went to our bedroom and took my rifle down from the shelf. It was loaded and for a moment I thought about who was going to die first.
- If I killed myself, my son would grow up with only her family as primary influence. She would “win” and that was not a win in my eyes.
- If I killed her and her parents, I would go to jail forever and my son would grow up fatherless, definitely not a “win”.
- If I killed my son and then myself, it would deprive her & her family of the opportunity to screw up my son’s life any more.
As I was standing there, thinking about the best way to use 7 rounds of Winchester’s finest 30-30 ammo, an audible voice in my head said “Unload the gun NOW, before someone gets hurt”. Yes, it was an actual voice, as real as any I had ever heard. It was a man’s voice, but other than that, it was quite ordinary. I unloaded the rifle, placed it and the ammo back on the shelf, and I sat on the edge of the bed. All of a sudden, my entire body shook uncontrollably. I relaxed, calmed down, and eventually walked out of the bedroom.
I can attribute the shaking to the adrenaline in my body running out, but the voice….. I have no idea. Could that have been “God” or some guardian angel, or maybe it was just my own common sense telling me to not make the ultimate mistake? I don’t know.
You will be happy to hear that I did divorce her a few years later, then won back custody of my son. He is 23 now and quite normal by all measurements, so I must have done something right in raising him.
I would prefer to attribute that voice to my own common sense, though I had never heard it before and never since. (I sure could have used that voice telling me otherwise just before I married her!) And it was a very stressful situation, so who knows exactly how the brain works given that level of stress.
In an odd way, it might be related to how the brain and your senses act if you are in a car crash and everything seems to go into slow-motion. (I’ve been in that situation too, and I can attest that it does happen).