The war against….


  • Christians
  • Heaving
  • Ridiculously
  • Insatiable
  • Stupidity
  • Towards
  • Most
  • Atheists/
  • Secularists

No, there isn’t a war against Christmas, the war is against STUPIDITY, which many people (especially Christians) seem to think that being stupid is a good thing. I’ve railed on before about how the holidays would be so much easier of people were honest with their children, rather than tell them some lie about a jolly fat man who brings them presents IF they are good. I know this because I used to be an elf.

I was reminded of this simple yet seemingly impossible task this morning when I was at the local Wally-World, buying yet another $100 worth of “stuff”, which thanks to modern hidden inflation, now fits nicely into just one bag. The young woman in front of me in line was struggling with her cart full of stuff while her (roughly 8 year old) son was tinkering with some of the toys that lined the gauntlet leading up to the register. He picked up one toy (some plastic guy/truck/action figure/hell, I don’t remember) and he commented: “This is the one Santa brought me last year!”. I wonder if the kid will ever realize that Santa doesn’t exist and his mother bought him the toy. Sadly, the chances are good that he never will. I also wonder if the mom will ever realize that the store has created that “toy gauntlet” specifically to make her spend more money. Again, the chances are good that she never will.

Something else that really bugs me is the over-commercialization of anything, and Christmas is by far the winner in this category. It’s one thing to tell your kids that Santa flies around the world in one night, delivering presents to all the good kids. It’s a highly implausible story, yet parents keep telling this story and kids keep eating it up. But how do you explain an inflatable, soft, Santa helicopter? Seriously, are all of the reindeer sick this season? Or has your mythological old man upgraded to some modern technology in the world-wide parcel delivery business?

And don’t get me wrong, I do like some Christmas lights, especially the more “conservative” arrangements. The “illuminated trees” are a nice modern touch that I think works nicely with palm trees.

But just when I thought I’d seen it all, another neighbor has a festive Mickey Mouse. Fan-fucking-tastic.

Maybe he can team up with KFC (Kentucky Fried Claus) and they can produce a “fried-rat-on-a-stick”; which seems about as plausible a treat as anything else the sheeple are willing to eat up every holiday season.


Hell I even have some lights up on my home, so apparently I’m not as “hum-bug”-ish as most people think I am.


So if you still think there is a “war on Christmas”, do us all a small favor and research the actual history of this claimed event as well as all the history regarding other claims which share very similar history. Go ahead, I’ll wait….

About hemibill

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1 Response to The war against….

  1. Keith Porter says:

    My friend Bill, ever the jolly blogger, don’t you know corporate profits are more important than petty things like truth and facts and history?


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