Peter Frampton and the satanic panic

The first album I ever heard in stereo was Peter Frampton’s “Frampton Comes Alive” soon after it was first released in 1976. One of my older sisters had bought the LP and Santa was nice enough to bring her an all-in-one stereo system. I would listen to it with headphones and it sounded *AMAZING*. I would play it over and over, air-drumming the entire time. (A year later I would buy my first drum set, but that’s another story). I was blown away by the “Talk Box” and decades would go by before I learned how it actually worked. But quickly my sister grew tired of me hogging her stereo, so I was reduced to using my parents BSR turntable and ancient amp that was in the living room “entertainment center”, along with the 20 inch color TV. The album never sounded as good on the BSR and many years later I would find out why – dad’s old amp was mono and only one line of the turntable was plugged in to it!

Anywhoo, my parents put up with my constant appropriation of the living room tunes but my mother would always cringe when “Do You Feel Like We Do?” would come on. Half way through the song, he transitions from using the Talk Box back to his normal voice and this transition happens as he says the word “well”; but my mom thought it was “Hell”, and this really upset her. I had to stop the record and show her the lyrics sheet to prove she was not hearing the words correctly.

 

 

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Paper or plastic?

There’s a terrible joke that describes the number of paper bags you need to have sex with an ugly girl. One bag to cover her face (so you don’t see her), one to cover your face (in case her bag falls of) and a third bag available on the night stand in case a stranger walks in on your romantic endeavor (so they can cover up too).

So, what if the story of Mary & the virgin birth (Jesus) wasn’t actually created by Mary (as a way to cover up her own infidelity), but instead was created by Joseph because he did not want to admit he had sex with an ugly girl? Imagine he’s talking with his buddies and they find out Mary is pregnant…..

  • “Dude, did you f#ck her?”
  • “Noooooo, no way!! She’s pregnant with God’s child. It’s immaculate conception I tell you!!”

Guys always boast about their sexual “conquests” and they usually lie about their failures.

 

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I think you’re being conned…

If the opposite of “pro” is “con”, then the opposite of “progress” is ……

We all know the terms “con man” and “con artist”. They mean “someone who takes advantage of other people”. Dictionary.com has the definitions:

  1. person adept at lying, cajolery, or glib self-serving talk.
  2. a person adept at swindling by means of confidence games; swindler.

I don’t know why I had not considered that “con man” was a shortened form of “confidence man”. So much like many other words that include “con”, these terms are also a bad thing and anyone who falls prey to these people have been “conned”.

When people meet up in a church, they are called the “congregation”, yet the definition of “congregation” does not include any reference to anything bad and the word “congregate” simply says:

  1. to come together; assemble, especially in large numbers

I wonder if you remove the “con” portion of this word, what does the base part of the word mean? The word “gregate” does not exist, but other words that use this portion include:

“segregate” which means:

  1. to separate or set apart from others or from the main body or group; isolate

and it’s opposite “integrate”, which means:

  1. to bring together or incorporate (parts) into a whole

so we can assume that “gregate” can infer some group of people. Now if we break this word down further, the word “gate” usually means:

  1. a movable barrier, usually on hinges, closing an opening in a fence, wall, or other enclosure

but there is one older definition of the word from North England and Scotland that I find very interesting:

  1. habitual manner or way of acting.

So, to wrap all this up, a congregation is a group of people who habitually act by meeting on a regular basis to listen to a swindler.

That certainly explains why there are so many mega-churches in this country.

mega_church

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Happy Easter!

So today is Easter Sunday, the day Christians celebrate the anniversary of Jesus rising from his grave and ascending into heaven. Sounds like a zombie movie plot if I’ve ever heard one.

And exactly how do they celebrate this holiday (holy-day)? They get all dressed up in their best clothes and go to church, much like every other Sunday, but today might include a floppy bonnet or some other garb that is even nicer than their usual attire. Good for them, nice to see they are working hard in this “down economy” to keep the global bonnet sales figures up there.

And after today’s church services, there will probably be an Easter egg hunt on the church lawn, which as explained to the children, were put there by a rabbit. Little kids with baskets try to find the eggs (real, candy, or plastic) that have been hidden in every nook & cranny. Some eggs are hard boiled and then dyed or painted to pretty them up, while others (the plastic ones) have money or some other treat inside of them. It’s a great way to teach your children hunting skills that will NEVER be used in the real world while getting them hooked on sugar & capitalism at the same time! Can someone explain to me how this correlates to zombie Jesus?

Afterwards, everyone goes home and cooks up enough food to feed a small army, usually ham and numerous side dishes. It’s no wonder that childhood obesity is on the rise in almost every industrialized country, especially here in the USA.

So today I have a challenge for you – to sit down with your children and have an HONEST discussion with them, talking about the real world we live in and explaining all of the points that I have highlighted in this post. Because honesty is the best policy…. right?

 

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Don’t blame us!

Recently a man in North Carolina killed 3 students over a parking dispute. Some people say this killing spree was more than just over parking, it was because of a difference in their religions – the man was an atheist and the students were Muslims. Some people even go as far as saying that “atheists have no sense of morals” because they don’t believe in any god. The truth is quite the opposite – atheists believe morality comes from within each person. And this is the point that so many theists miss when they are pointing fingers – there is *NOTHING* in atheism that tells people to go out and kill.

This man killed 3 people because he’s a PSYCHOTIC ASSHOLE.

 

 

 

dont_be_an_asshole

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The title seems redundant

My wife bought a copy of “Mormonism For Dummies” because her youngest son dated and later married, a girl who is from a Mormon family. (Guess what – now they are getting a divorce) I had already done some reading about Mormonism, so I wanted to see how this book stacked up against what I had already read. Unfortunately, it was so tiring to read, I did not finish it. Here are some “brain droppings” regarding it….

mormonism_for_dummies

The opening page “About The Authors” gives a short summary of the 2 people that wrote this book, both of whom are Mormons. It goes without saying that this book is going to be written with a pro-Mormon slant, but it also makes sense that you go to “the in-crowd” of people to get the most correct information about those same people, right? Let’s hope their biases don’t cloud their vision.

Chapter 1, the first sentence reads: “Buddhism, Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, traditional branches of Christianity – and Mormonism?” and already I am wondering why this information is grouped the way it is. Mormonism believes everything in the Christian Bible PLUS some more books, so grouping it outside of the non-Christian VS Christian groups seems odd. Where does Scientology and Pastafarians fit in with these groups? Hopefully there will be a subsequent book for those too. Meanwhile, back to the subject at hand.

The book describes the basic ideas, tenets, and rituals of Mormonism. It gives a past accounting of it’s founder, Joseph Smith, who claimed to be a profit.

Page 15 briefly mentions Joseph Smith’s assassination and on page 30 it mentions that he had been previously tarred and feathered, falsely imprisoned, and driven from his home; yet they never mention the reasons why these events happened. If the life of Joseph Smith had been shown in chronological order, it would have detracted from Mormonism on the whole.

Joseph Smith had read the Bible and his “revelations” and additional books seem like an obvious ploy to invent his own religion. The science-fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard did the very same thing when he came up with Scientology.

The book tries to use humor to lighten the conversation, yet the punchlines fall short, leaving the reader to wonder if “those who know all Celine Dion’s songs by heart” really are limited to the bottom level of the Telestial Kingdom. (seriously, page 35)

Page 41 tries to explain how the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost (in Mormonism) are not the same as the “Trinity” (in Catholicism), yet their descriptions seems only slightly different at best. Po-TAY-to, Po-TAH-to….

Pages 67-72 talks about the different functions of the priesthood, ranging from “Deacon” at age 12, through “General Authorities”, where they are working for the church full time. One of these functions is blessing the ill, which is supposed to heal your sickness, though they admit that they can’t force a healing if it is against God’s will. Of course this makes one wonder “If it’s God’s will, then why bother praying?” These functions are for the male members of the church because the church is “unapologetically patriarchal”, much like the Bible itself.

Page 75 says that Mormons believe that God himself is married. I  wonder what the Heavenly Mother has to say about God’s alleged tryst with Mary (mother of Jesus). She must be pretty open-minded to allow her husband to stray like that. (Unlike the strict Mormon mindset).

Mormons believe that the family unit is extremely important and they spend much time tracking family genealogies. They also have other people perform ceremonies, such as “proxie baptisms” for those people that did not get the opportunity to do so while they were alive. What I’m wondering is if we are ALL related and we ALL come from the same pair of parents (Adam & Eve or God and Mary), then why not perform these ceremonies  en masse?

I skipped ahead, trying to find information regarding Donnie & Marie Osmond or the planet Kolob, but neither was explained (or even mentioned).

Needless to say, this book, like every other religious book, is slanted, biased, and only worth reading if you really want to see how ridiculous their own propaganda can be.

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Another year over, and a new one just begun

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Once again the holiday season is upon us, giving us another reason to over-indulge ourselves. Why do we do this? Why do we eat so much, stuffing our stomachs long past the point of fullness? Why do we insist of pigging-out while other people go hungry? Why do we do this, year after year?

  • Birthdays – Make sure you have cake!
  • Thanksgiving – Invite over all of the family, cook up a turkey with all the trimmings and don’t forget some pie!
  • Christmas – Ham and all the trimmings yet again
  • New Years – Drink too much and make some resolutions that you probably won’t keep.

So why don’t we just change the behaviors that lead us to do these things?

  • Eat less
  • Exercise more
  • Give your time to others
  • Enjoy life

So many of us will die of comfort while others starve.

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sealed are those…..

How many souls will be allowed in heaven?  Revelation 7 says (if you add it all up) 144,000 souls. It names the specific tribes and the number of people who are “sealed”. I find it EXTREMELY odd that each tribe named had EXACTLY 12,000 people who are sealed. Exactly? Not 12,001? Not 11,999?? The probability of this is ridiculous.
 
Revelation 7:6 specifically names the “tribe of Manassas”, which is a name I know because it’s a city in Virginia (though I never knew of the Biblical reference back then). Which raises another question – if the tribe of Manassas is allowed in, what about those who lived in the neighboring town of Manassas Park? Are they excluded just because of an arbitrary boundary line?
 manassas_map
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And here’s Tom with the weather

Isn’t it amazing how so many things that used to be thought of as “supernatural” are now explained by science? Take the weather, for example. Doppler Radar can give you up-to-the-minute actual weather. No longer do we hope & pray that some invisible deity spares us his wrath.

Hurricane_Rita_Lake_Charles_radar

How big was the flood in the Bible? In a land that is basically flat, how much of a flood would be needed to actually cover everything?

map

 

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Mistletoe anyone?

Have you ever wondered where the tradition of kissing a stranger under mistletoe came from? We cut a small sprig and hang it over a doorway and when a stranger steps into the open doorway, someone else can use that opportunity to greet the stranger with a kiss. And somehow this tradition is part of the ritual that many people go through to celebrate peace on Earth and the birth of Jesus.

But have you ever wondered WHAT mistletoe actually is? Most people think mistletoe is just another plant, but it’s no ordinary plant. It’s actually the tree equivalent of cancer, growing and feeding off of the host plant. If the mistletoe grows enough, it can actually choke out the host plant, killing it.

So the next time you decorate your house for the holidays, remember that tiny piece of plant life is actually a killer that is trying to suck the life out of the trees in your yard!

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